Questions you always wanted to ask but didn't...
1. So Just What is HGH, Anyway? And Why Do the Tour Dopers Scarf It
Down?
HGH——Human Growth Hormone——a protein produced and released into your
bloodstream by the pituitary gland ACCELERATES FAT BURNNG, MUSCLE
BUILDING, and METABOLISM. It's not a drug, rather a naturally occurring
substance in the human body.
2. So If We Make It, How Come We Have to TAKE It?
'Cause by your early 20s, HGH has largely done its job, that is
transforming your kid body into the adult version. So natural
production starts to decline. The sad results? More body fat, less
muscle mass, a sputtering sex drive. Ah, but the OPPOSITE is also true:
Boosting HGH levels leads to increased testosterone production (which
does show up in drug testing) and all the accompanying gains in
strength and repair work on cells, tendons and muscles damaged by
rigorous exercise. Remember how much faster things healed when you
were, like, 19?
3. The Buzz
HGH hit the fan in the late-1990s when a study published in the New
England Journal of Medicine pumped HGH into 12 really lucky dudes aged
61 to 81 for 6 months. What happened? Well, the geezers gained 9% in
muscle mass, lost 14% of their body fat, and WITHOUT EXERCISING.
Moreover, most said they felt horny for the first time in a decade and
walked around sporting full blown rats. The results of a half-year's
worth of HGH squirts, the researchers wrote, were "comparable to
shedding 10 to 20 years." So sign me up!
4. The Problem
Whoa. Settle down. You can't get the stuff (legally) in the United
States unless you're an HGH-deficient kid on the fast track to
dwarfism. Last Uncle Norris heard, that was the only FDA-approved use.
Even if you could legally score some, the natural source of HGH (the
pituitary glands of cadavers. Eeek.) is limited, and recombinant forms
(rHGH) although "abundant and safe" are prohibitively expensive,
according to Pharmacological Review.
5. The Options.
Now there IS a way to amp up your HGH levels. Two ways, actually: Sleep
tight, and work out short and hard. The pituitary pumps out more HGH
during sleep, particularly the first 90 minutes, than at any other
time. Ah, but the BETTER way to hype your HGH at any age is, according
to Dr. Mauro De Pasquale (sounds like maybe Marco Pantani's
"connection"?) in the journal Drugs in Sports is HIGH-INTENSITY
exercise, but no more than a couple of times a week. But the watchword
is SHORT AND HARD. Like sprinting balls out for a few hundred yards to
a stop sign, or putting the hammer all the way down on a 100-meter
roller. That kind of thing. Maybe half a dozen times during your ride 2
or 3 times a week. Such explosive bursts, Dr. de P claims, can increase HGH output by AS MUCH AS 50%.
Yikes!
More next month from your Fit Bit Funster, Norris Couchman. Until then,
look for me on my polka-dot Pegoretti at the Saturday ride.